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Sunday, August 31, 2008
{'I am kind of lost here D;' } Hello babies. i am here. alone. i am be mad. posting in the middle of the night. cause i just cannot fall asleep. dunno why. i am gonna off soon liao. nothing to post about anymore. i was kind of shocked when i saw my tagboard. cause my kindergarden friend came and tagged my blog. SHOCKED. she actually still rememeber me. woah... touched. if i am not wrong,she was my best friend back then. i am so void now. why arh? i also dunno. i miss yuxuan and belinda alot. RANDOM. SSP on wednesday. haix. xian. maths. i am gonna wear slippers to school on wednesday. then after that going to play water and watch movie at Vivo with belinda and dunno who. aiiyaa. i guess i am gonna have another sleepless night. luckly tml will be school hoilday le. no need to wake up so early. i want school. i wonder why. still in a search of my best friend. dunno why to find her. lalala. okay. i am bounced. i guess i am just gonna lie at my bed till morning ba. i just pray hard that i can sleep now. someone protect me? nah. not possible;D & i never know that i was such a pathetic person.3.34am. Sunday, August 24, 2008
{'AH-CHOOOO!*sniff*sniff* so cold...' } hello peoples. super long no post. xian. dunno what to do. this few days were NOT okay. things are still as bad as before. nothing had changed for me. no improvement in studies yet. still working hard. avtually,i gave up. study or not is still the same. whatever. yesterday night iwas sitting on my bed listening to songs. listen till half,i started crying. cry until very jia lut. how weird can i get. this few days very cold. everyone take care k? dun fall sick. many things had happened in the past few weeks. and i feel so lost and hopeless. dunno why. anyone can help me dial for an ambulance and send me to the mental hospital? i guess i am going to go crazy soon. maybe i should hire a taxi later and go there myself. i had my will ready anyway. i dun think i have such long life. i wanna transfer school. for no good reason. just feel that my stress is too much. dunno how to destress too. maybe i should just get knock down one day and lose all my memories. so i would not remember anything. including him. if he got a chance to read this,i just wanna tell him, to be able to look at you from far is enough for me. i just want you to be happy. although i am not the girl that you always wanted, but i just wanna know that you're happy when you are with me. and please always bear this in mind, when you need my help, i am always just behind you. you're deep there, in my heart, and there's no better time than today, to say there's no better love than you. i love you. don't walk in front of me- i may not follow. don't walk behind me- i may not lead. just walk beside me- and be my friend. haiz... dunno lei.xian.like that loh. not feeling okay. i am such an attention seeker. i dislike myself. why am i here? dunno.fantastic 4 is doing great. hope that the best friend that i am looking for other then the fantastic 4 can hurry appear. i had collapse yesterday night. so i dunno if i will still be myself tml when i return school. maybe i will be a piece of emo shit. i really want my best friend. cause i wanna cry on her chest. and sleep on her shoulder. i just love her. &i never know that i was such a pathetic person.5.23pm. Saturday, August 16, 2008
{'deep deep there,i saw no one...' } hi. so many things happened in the few days.that day went councilling. at first i was feeling very happy de. then go library study. then kanna scolded by someone. saying that we are too loud. nevermind. since it has past,then let it go. useless talking about it. i should be straightforward. that person is TANYUXUAN. yes,i am feeling very fuck up that day for her reactions. dun feel like talking about it anymore. behaving weirdly in the past few days. like to day dream alot. then at home day-dreaming till half then will start to cry. hmm...some of them should know what really happened. dunno lei. just feel really really sad. no one know what am i thinking anyways. xian. like that loh. nevermind. mr low say this year 1n1 will have 10 retains. piang. jia lut lei. dunno lah. dunno who will retain loh. just hope that everyone can buck up and be promoted together. my mother now kpo here. trying to see what am i posting about. nevermind. she just smacked me. haha. cause i thought she dunno what am i writing. LOL. huiming ask me if i tml wanna go sentosa. i rejected her. no mood go out. feeling so cold inside and feeling so hott outside. DOWN DOWN DOWN. when will i be hyper again? they also very happy with the life now mah. then why should i still be bothered? dunno lei. where is the best friend i am looking for? come out lah. i die liao lah. kill me. COLLASPED. really collasped liao. so if one day you see me lying in a pool of blood in school,that shows that i had killed myself. i had already prepared my will. who knows when am i leaving? soon liao. maybe i can find my best friend in other places. earth might just not be the right place for me. I AM LONELY. &i had never know that i was such a pathetic person.9.43pm. Sunday, August 10, 2008
{'' } 1] What is the subject you hate most ? - maths [2] Who do you hate ? - myself [3] What happen at 10 am today ? - watching t.v [4] When did you last cry ? - last friday [5] What's your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter ? - i dun really eat peanut butter [6] What do you want in your life now ? - a best friend [7] Do you carry an umbrella when it rains , or put up with your hood ? -no. i walk in rain [8] What's your favourite things to put on your bed ?. - myself [9] What bottom are you wearing now ? - paddington bear [10] What's your nicest text in your inbox say ? - handphone or blog? [11] Do you wish to make a relationship complicated ? - no one wants it [12] Are you wearing anything that you borrowed from someone ? - yeah..BRA. LOL. [13] What was the last movie you caught ? -money no enough 2 [14] What are you proud of ? -being champion for all interclass with 1n1'08 [15] What does your oldest message in your outbox say ? - never check [16] What is the last song you sang out loud ? - ren zhi [17] Do you have any nickname ? - alot. [18] What does your last received message say ? - "ehs... cn call me?"(by lingen) [19] What time did you go to school yesterday ? - no school yesterday [20] Are you currently happy ? - i was seldom in secondary school [21] Who gives you the best advice ? - non [22] Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can ? - yesh,super nice [23] Who did you last talk on the phone with ? - lingen [24] Is anything bugging you now ? - alot [25] Who / What was the last thing / person that made you laugh ? - money no enough 2 [26] Do you wear toesocks ? - i dun have toes.haha.no lah [27] Who was the person you last missed a call from ? - janine(primary school friend) [28] Have you ever had your heart broken ? - my heart was always shattered [29] What annoys you most in a person ? - my second personality [30] Do you have a crush on anyone now ? - myself [31] Have you ever done cocaine ? - no,but i take milk powder last time.hahs. [32] What's the color of your room ? - white [33] Would you kill someone for a billion dollars ? - ya. myself. & i will donate some to sichuan,some for my parents,some for school & my friends [34] Do you believe in the saying " Talk is cheap " ? - talking is free,thats what i believe in [35] Who was the last person to lie on your bed ? -myself [36] Who was the last person who hugged you ? - yuxuan [37] What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on ? - i like you [38] Do you have a life ? - no. i am a non-living thing [39] Have you ever thought someone had died when they didn't ? - ya.myself [40] What's the reason behind your blog song ? - dun have blog song [41] Who was the last person you saw in your dream ? - err... belinda? [42] Last time you smiled ? - watching money no enough 2 [43] Have you changed this year ? - became emotional and sentimental [44] What are you listening to now ? -song [45] Are you talking to someone while doing this ? - no [46] Do you walk with your eyes closed or opened ? -i dun have eyes.semi-open. [47] Is there a quote you live by ? - He who angers you,conquers you. [48] Do you want someone you don't have ? - a best friend [49] Have you ever played an instrument ? - more than one. [50] What was the worst idea you thought this week ? - end my life [51] What were doing last night at 11pm ? -watching t.v [52] Are you happy with your love life now ? - no.didnt feel any love from anyone [53] What song describes your love life ? -ren zhi [54] Does that person know that you love him ? - i will tell that person if i love him [55] Who always makes you laugh ? - no one have that ability yet [56] Do you speak other languages ? - yeah.. [57] Are you blond ? - no. [58] What's your middle name ? - HENG arh...LOL. [59] What are you doing tomorrow ? -going to study with jasmine & belinda [6]who do you think you are? -i am a lonely girl [61] Who do you choose to die with ? - no one. [62] Where have you been today ? - my kitchen,toilet,living room,studying room etc... [63] What game do you play often ? - shooting? [64] Who are you missing now ? - belinda,yaole & faustine [65] What are you doing now ? - emo'ing' [66] Which primary school are you from ? - Pei Chun Public School [67] If you are to choose your friends & your love , who will you be with ? - friends [68] Name three colors you like . - whit,black,grey and more [69] What emotion you like to show people ? - happy.i dun like my friends to know that i am sad [70] What is life to you ? - lonely and VOID [71] If you have something troubling you now , what will you do ? - keep it to myself [72] Who did you last chat with in MSN today ? - i go online but never talk to anyone [73] Who do you admire the most ? - people who lead a happy life [74] Which month are you born in ? - oct [75] How are you feeling now ? - normal,tired [76] What is the time now ? -6.15pm [77] Where are you now ? - studying room [78] What color would you like to dye your hair ? - dye hair is bad for health.will get cancer de [79] Why are you doing this ? - cause i xian [80] What do you do when you're moody ? - sit under the shower head with cold water [81] At what age do you want to get married ? -24 [82] Who is more important ? - myself.without me,then no one will be important [83] Do you have enough confidence ? - i dun have any [84] Who is the person you trust most ? - myself.i have to trust my own taste in making friends before trusting others [85] Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain ? - its not a matter of believing or not.its true [86] If you have a dream come true , what would it be ? - the dream that i want it to come true [87] What's your goal for this year ? - get promoted to express [88] Do you believe in eternal love ? - let me have a try before telling you the answer [89] What do you love ? - myself,my family & friends [90] Do you think it's global warming now ? - yeah..i am melting under the side [91] What feeling you hate most ? - tired,betrayed,left alone [92] You treasure every single friendship of yours ? - not all.it depends on that person [93] Do you give up 2nd chance easily ? - i will treasure my first chance and make it a good one just once [94] Who cares for you most ? - i dunno. [95] What do you think is most important in your life ? - stay alive to get the answer loh [96] What will you bring when you fight ? - myself {97} Do you believe in Fate ? -sometimes [98] What would you feel if nobody cares about you ? - i had never felt love and care from my friends at all. just feel...lonely and sad.for now,NUMB. [99] What if your stead two - timed you ? -keep it to myself. cause that happened to me before [100] What do you want now ? - sleep,die,friend [101] When is ur birthday? - 26th Oct 1995 & i never knew i was such a PATHETIC person.6.24pm. {'-VOID-' } Hello everyone. Yes,i am posting again. I am feeling so cold now... I am feeling so void now... I want a friend by my side. But not any other friends but,her. The one in my heart. Maybe you might think that i am a lesbian,talking about a girl that i love,you're half wrong half right. You're right that i love her,but yet you're wrong. Cause i am not a lesbian. I am just looking for a best friend. So if you think that you're close to me and understand what i thinks and you're willing to let me cry on your chest,lean on your shoulder when tired,then tell me. I wonder. Really wonder. 人质 我和你啊 存在一种危险关系 彼此挟持 这另一部分的自已 本以为这完整了爱的定义 那就乖乖的守护着你 ＊相爱变成 猜忌怀疑的烂游戏 规则是要 憋着呼吸越靠越近 但你的温柔 是我唯一沉溺 你是爱我的 就不怕有缝隙 在我心上用力的开一枪 让一切归零 在这声巨响 如果爱是说什么都不能放 我不挣扎 反正我也 没差 Repeat ＊ 人质在这一刻得到释放 相爱的纯粹落得如此下场 你满意吗 我们都别 说谎 i am so lonely and i need you to lend me your helping hand.so i would not collasp.5.05pm. {'those wonderful memories will forever be with me.' } hello. last friday went to vivo city watch movie with BELINDA,JASMINE,HUIMING,DEBBIE,YUXUAN,LINGEN,BENJAMIN,KEN,CALVIN,SZE SIANG,KAIYI and TERRENCE. its was super. the movie was like,so funny in front,so sad at the back. we watched money no enough 2. first time i watch jack neo movie i cried so badly. in the middle of the movie,my chest suddenly very pain. then i started crying. belinda saw me crying first. she gave a pad on my shoulder. cannot tahan the pain. cried on belinda's shoulder. after awhile,i wanted to stop. then the ah ma fainted at the old folk home. make me sad again then i cried more badly. belinda was the second one to cry. only that HEARTLESS jasmine never cry. even the guys cried loh. after we finished the movie,all of us look super tired. our eyes were like super red loh. belinda look as though she just woke up. haha. then we go play water. i only wet my pants abit. then i stopped. dun wanna catch a cold. kept nagging at huiming and belinda. cause they both have flu in the first place and they still wet themselves. I AM SO LIKE A MAMA. haha. then after that they went to eat at the food republic. i kept taking photo of belinda. then jasmine that calafare keep appearing in the picture. haha. LOL. now chest started to ache again. XIAN. pain. messaging yun wei. keke. yun wei is my rabbit. anyway, while taking photos of belinda,jasmine and the both of us kept laughing non-stop like mad women. hahs. it was the best day of my life. althought i did not had anyone to share th joy with,but it was still the best day of my life. i had enjoyed the freedom,the fresh air,the sad atmosphere,and the loneliness deep in my heart. wanna watch 12 lotus with belinda. she very cute. i love her alot. although the person i had being looking for is not with me,but i believe she is in my heart. & before she appears,she will still be my best friend deep in my heart. but still,i beg you. hurry appear and share my joy and sadness with me. cause its tough for me to suffer all this alone. i am collapsing. save me. i am scare to be alone. come for me. hug me,love me. show me that you care for me. appear before me. let me trust you and allow me to share everything of mine with you. i dun wanna be alone. i dun wanna cry alone. i dun wanna be alone! i am pathetic without that person. so,when will you appear? i want a best friend that i can cry on her chest and lean on her shoulder when i am tired. i am so pathetic.3.41pm. Thursday, August 7, 2008
{'i am a lonely girl.' } peeps people. i am here. again. to post. and yes,i am still in school. Imac lab. xian. cause i am bored. so i decided to come and post again. i am such a bother. yaole is having girl guides today. *sob sob* sad. feeling rather down. going to rain soon. having shooting later. dun feel like going. down down down... i wanted to change my blogskin. but i failed. tmd. do everything also fail. am i borned to be a failure? lao. suck. feeling like sleeping now. haix. very cold now. can someone let me lean on her shoulder? i want a best friend. who can allow me to cry on her chest and lean on her shoulder when i am tired. nevermind. i hate myself. i want a best friend with me.4.46pm. Wednesday, August 6, 2008
{'hello.i am in school now.haha.slacking...' } hello everyone.now slacking in computer lab one.haha.calvin is beside me now.haha.LOL.yesterday,super emotional.cause got heart problem.heart very pain.PHSICALLY.not mentally.no need to guess.haha.you thinki i dunno what your thinking meh?*wink* then interclass i never play.in the end waited so long.so i immdiately left.before that yaole came to me and told me that i look more cheerful yesterday. diao. actually that was my worst day. haha. its okay. i dun blame her. its not even her fault in the first place.just that i am too different from the others.i am hard to understand and see through. no one can do it. its mission impossible. althought i am emo yesterday,today was okay. i am starting on my new book now. and the main female lead is somehow like me. i love to write.haha.but only chinses. LOL. now i super slack. and tried.diao. project work i also do finish liao le. xian. nevermind. i go read ppl blog now. byeee~ being emotional is always the best to do.12.12pm. Sunday, August 3, 2008
{'100th emotional night...' } hey guys, today is my 100th post. which means, its the 100th night for me being emo with this blog. LOL. whatever. dunno what to say. just feel somehow emotional. SENTIMENTAL. but cant cry. coz dun feel like. dunno what else to say. bye. i go die now. hope that your dun see me tml. if not, good luck. i love being emo.10.42pm. {'lots of things happened' } hi everyone.back to post again.many things happened this few weeks.1n1'08 is separated now.benjamin is suspended.our class gets scoldings.-WHATEVER- not like i give any damn.since they dun want me to care.and since i am such a lousy monitor to them.since i have not give out enough for them.since it was my fault that the class is so wild.irritated by all of the things regarding 1n1'08.without mr lee with us,watching us,we can never bond together as one.this is because of us having a bad form teacher now.xian.dunno what else to post about.i miss yaole.thats all for today.totally dun enjoy weekend.tata. i love yaole.emotional weeks for me.5.59pm. |
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Who knows what will happen in the future?
Maybe I could become the next top model or actress.
I dream, and the sky is the limit.
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It might just be around you♥[HENGYIN!] is the name SWEET 14 going LOVELY 15 261095 1.67m 3N1'10 FTW DREAM SCHOOLS: PeiChunPublicSchool(past) ZhongHuaSecondarySchool(currently) NgeeAnn Poly(dream school) Princeton University(dream school) Yale University(dream school) HATES: BUGS ANIMALS DIRTY INSUFFICIENT SLEEP GRADE F9 RUNNING LOVES: ♥SNSD♥ [Fany Fany TIFFANY!] [Sergeant Sica JESSICA!] [MYSELF!] SHOWS: [SNSD Girls Go To School] [SNSD Horrible Movie Factory] [Grey's Anatomy] [Gossip Girl] [90210] [Heroes] [Glee] FOOD: MINERAL WATER HOTDOGS SUBWAY SANDWICHES FRUIT LOOPS PIZZA WANTS: Study overboard Stay healthy WISHES: Reduce amount of F9 EMB3 : > 19 DATES: THIRTY MONTHS WITH 3N1'10! » Two «
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